Sunday, July 27, 2014

First Haircut Trauma (for Mama)

There was a lot of back and forth about it.  What to do, where to go.

So finally we decided we would just to do it ourselves:  Buzz the beast.

Our beast, the wild child with wild hair

I loved his curly locks and really didn't want to do it.  But something needed to be done.  Buster's hair was starting to get out of control.  And I was incredibly nervous about doing it right, but Jim reassured me that I could do it.

So we start off with the #8 attachment, and his curls pile up on the floor.  Then, the #4.  (Meanwhile, B is loving being buzzed.)  And I think that, "Ok, we're good.  It's short, but he still has some curls."

Nothing too traumatic so far...

But Jim asks if we can go one we use the #2.  I just barely start, and then I see his scalp and that his hair isn't even long enough to make a whole curl.  I just starting bawling then and there. 

I've heard of people who cry after they get their own hair cut, but that's never been me, not even by a long shot.  So why am I crying over my kid's hair cut?  Well, my first thought was that without the hair, he changed into a different kid.  As in, he literally looks like a kid, and not my baby anymore.

But I looked up, and there B was, looking at me with concern since his mama was crying, after he was just laughing and smiling and having a blast getting a haircut.  Yes, he is growing up.  But no, he's not a different kid.  The length of his hair didn't change him.  I could see right then that he's still my loving, laid back boy with an ornery, adventurous spirit.  

Case in point ;)

So after a pep talk from Jim and a hug from our daughter J, I composed myself and finished cutting his hair.  And although I still think it’s a little too short, he still looks absolutely adorable.

Before and After

But over the next few days, I kept thinking about it because I was so shocked and embarrassed by my reaction.  Why did a seemingly simple haircut hit me like that?

It was like several emotions hit me at once.  I felt so much pressure to cut his hair correctly since it is different from my own.  I was nervous to do it myself.  I wanted him to look good and taken care of.  I didn’t want my little boy to look like a different kid when we were done.  I did not want to screw this up.  And I felt like I did.

The more I thought about it over the next few days, the more I realized that that is what parenting is all about, right?  It’s a hard job filled with so many pressures, and sometimes we can get overwhelmed with emotion by the responsibility.  Sometimes, we do mess up.  And sometimes, we get it right too.  So we need to realize this, not dwell on our mistakes, and then pick ourselves up and try again.

And we do it all for this ;)

Parenting is full of beautiful and tough moments - praise be to God for His grace and second chances.  And hair that will grow back...right?!

Linking up with Faith for Mommy Moments this week!

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